social media has changed, and so have I

I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a writer, though I do enjoy it. Unlike running, unfortunately. I am not a big reader either, though I wish I was. Reading the same line 3 times in a row and not comprehending any of it gets old really quickly, so I don’t. This has been an issue since childhood and some things never change. No, I’ve never been diagnosed, but there are clearly signs… The thing that’s really upsetting, and growing increasingly anger-inducing lately, is my lack of ability to focus on literally anything for longer than a few seconds. That, and my overall disposition becoming less-than-sunny, caused by what I am now starting to realize is tadah social media.

It’s just after 5:00p.m. on a Monday, and as I sit at a counter-height table I built, in what can only be described as my dream house that we are renting, I have finally reached peak fuck it. Until about 3 days ago I had no idea what Substack was and admittedly was very annoyed anytime I read or heard someone say, “follow me on Substack”, but here I am. I assumed it was just another social media platform. In my search for something other than Instagram, and after very little research, I created an account to see what all the fuss was about. I have realized I do think Substack is a viable, and potentially very enjoyable, step in a direction away from Instagram all together. One of my most obvious character traits is honesty, if you can’t already tell. I am honest to my detriment at times, but it is the only way I know how to be. In life, in love, in the pursuit of happiness… wait, that’s someone else’s line, right? And honestly, social media kind of sucks now.

A few months ago I wrote a blog post announcing my deletion of Pinterest after so many years as an avid user. Basically, I was tired of the AI slop, the ads every third post, and what it was doing to my creativity, so I finally said goodbye. To reduce my aimless scrolling, I decided the only apps I’d use moving forward were YouTube and Instagram. I saw a noticeable change in my outlook on life and felt like I had made some solid progress, temporarily. Then I realized, my time spent aimlessly scrolling didn’t reduce, it just shifted.

My Instagram became more tailored and I felt like I had cracked the code to my algorithm, but there was one HUGE underlying glaringissue. Over half of the content I was seeing was still ads. Maybe it looked a bit more curated, and maybe the content itself was speaking to my creative side, yet I was still in an endless trap. I love fashion. Always have, always will. I followed so many chill, cute, fashion girlies and was seeing their content consistently, but slowly started to realize everything was linked. Everything had a LTK, or an Amazon storefront, or shop-able links. I love seeing people do their thing, looking hot, and enjoying life (me in the background “Ja Wilhelm, you’re killing it.”) but, the last thing I want is to be sold to every hour of the day.

“Gahhhhhhhhh sounds of frustration” - me

I work on the outskirts of marketing. I follow online trends as a genuine curiosity, and have a pretty good idea of what is working to sell. That’s the issue. I know what is used to sell, and I still fall for it. Ultimately, I think that’s where all of the frustration stems from. I am mad at myself for falling for the same tactics I know how to use to get people to buy. It’s a very sick and twisted mental space. On one hand, I want to help businesses succeed, and Instagram is an incredibly beneficial platform for small business growth, but I don’t want to be part of the problem. I don’t want to be part of the dumb-ification of society so-to-speak. Unlike traditional marketing of the past, you don’t need to spend thousands of dollars on a single billboard or pounds of printed flyers to get people’s attention. You can create an Instagram, follow the “how-tos” of marketing gurus, and you have a chance at success. That being said, the Instagram I once knew and loved is no longer “social" media. It’s essentially a shopping platform encouraged and modeled by real people.

I love to create, and video is my favorite medium. I have been documenting my life for years and it’s something I have always done as a hobby. As anyone who films themselves will tell you, it is very difficult to capture videos of oneself that don’t feel forced and are properly in focus (literally). Over the past few years I have turned the camera almost entirely away from myself and onto those around me - with consent, of course. My boyfriend, friends, a client or two. It is so much easier to capture good video when your eye is to the viewfinder, not in front of the lens. My focus became using my skills to benefit and encourage my boyfriend’s goals, as he was the closest person to me, but things regarding social media have started to change for him as well. He began requesting to spend less and less time in front of the camera, and I absolutely understand why. He doesn’t personally want to be a business. He wants to learn his craft, grow as a mechanical engineer, and build things for himself and his future, not for Instagram. That little bit of feedback was an “aha”moment for me. I don’t necessarily want to be a business either. In fact, I want to teach and be helpful if I can. I am very anti-gatekeep when it comes to knowledge. I want to share things that can teach you something, whether that’s about a craft, about myself, or maybe even about yourself. Instagram has turned hobbies into side hustles and it is killing us as humans. Not everything needs to be sold. Information and art can just be shared with others to exist and be enjoyed.

I don’t think it is a coincidence that so many people are deleting Instagram and confessing it on YouTube or other places, like here on Substack. It is horrible. We are in a cycle of bullshit and slowly people just like myself are realizing it. Because of this, I do believe my days on that platform are numbered. I can no longer listen to people around me, or people on Instagram, explain all the ways it is ruining our lives, and then proceed to still use the app. It starts to get so hypocritical and the last thing I want to be is a hypocrite. There is so much good on Instagram, but when the negatives start to outweigh the positives, a change must be made.

Thank you for reading, if you made it this far. I am clearly a jumble of thoughts that I am trying to formulate into a cohesive point. I am not sure if I succeeded, but I will guarantee a few things. I promise to never use AI to write a post, and as I stated I am not a writer. Spelling mishaps and grammatical errors are bound to happen. However, I can guarantee you I will keep it real. I’m not looking for subscribers and I don’t want to sell you anything. I just hope that you make choices that fulfill you and bring you joy. At least, that is what I am trying to do. I am going to try Substack for a while and see if I like it. I know this was a bit of a rant, but I will share the things I love from here on out. Photos, videos, stories, food, style, interior design. Hell, maybe even a think piece every now and then. After all, that is what Substack is meant for, right?

xo, Bri