i'm 35, and i have some thoughts on personal style

There are a few things in life I would truly consider passions of mine. One is interior design, but we’ll get into that at another time, and another is fashion. What I choose to put on my body every day comes to me organically, and I actually enjoy the process of getting dressed. It’s never felt forced, and I’ve never not known what to wear. As a kid I would obsess over fashion magazines and my favorite retail shop catalogs. Even if I don’t mean to, I am always observing what others are wearing and loving, and I will naturally transition the silhouette of my style with the times. Change is fun and refreshing, and the fact is not all personal style sticks around. Some special pieces will, but as a whole, your personal style is allowed to change. I feel like there is such an emphasis on finding your “personal style” and “timeless pieces,” but what does that even mean? No matter how timeless you think something is, eventually it won’t be current, and if you stick to only those things, you will end up putting yourself in a box. Imaging thinking skinny jeans, or hammer pants, or corsets and petticoats are “timeless,” and just sticking to them as the world around you changes. That is kind of ridiculous to me.

I have lived in several different states and my style has changed each time. Sometimes out of necessity for things like the weather, sometimes my body changed a bit, and sometimes it was due to the styles around me. At the heart of it, my daily personal style is pretty casual. I love the beach, and all things that come with that lifestyle. Think ripped jeans, lots of sun dresses, flops or vans, and messy hair with no makeup. But I love a killer pair of stilettos, a band tee, or a structured suit moment too. Not necessarily all at the same time, but I’m not opposed to it. When I moved to South Texas, Buckle jeans, boots, big hair with lots of hairspray, and heavy makeup was the norm, so I adapted and incorporated some of those things into my style at the time. It was experimental and it was fun. I got to try a lot of new things, and ultimately realized that those things aren’t really what make me comfortable, but had I not tried them I wouldn’t know that.

The things in my wardrobe that I think are timeless to me are things that I have slowly accumulated over the years. That wasn’t planned. It’s simply due to years of trial and error, and holding onto the things that I actually love along the way. And yes, it has taken years. I still have things I wear to this day that I have owned since the early years of high school. (It’s been near 20 years since I graduated high school. Time flies, man.)

All I am trying to say is, if you are in your twenties, or even your teens (or hell, even your 40s) and you still don’t feel like you know what your personal style is, please know that it’s not about putting yourself in a box. The extremes always seem to get the most traction in the media, but not everyone falls into the perfect minimalist or maximalist category. Some of us are just a combination of a lot of things, and we are totally allowed to love bits and pieces from all styles. You don’t need to name your style, but if that helps you identify what you enjoy after taking a good hard look at your wardrobe, then that’s awesome. If I had to categorize my style in 3 words I would probably say simple, feminine (not girly), and comfortable (not sloppy). I wear a lot of black, but you’ll see me in red, bright orange, or patterns too. It’s ok to adapt your style to the moment, and eventually with age (and I truly mean that) you will figure it out.

She hates pictures, but I love my fluffy, independent, senior girl (she’s 12 and a half).

I will never link items I wear, even if they are still available, because I don’t want to encourage anyone to shop. But I will discuss items, and outfits, and what I love about them. Most of the items in my wardrobe at this point have a story and that is what I like about it.

Jeans - Vintage Levis 501s. I got these from a little leather shop in Burbank, CA. They belonged to the woman who owns the place, and she was selling them because she hadn’t worn them in years. Like, since the 90s. This woman is a bad ass and looks like an old rockstar herself. I could see her roaming around the streets of Hollywood back in the day wearing these exact jeans. She makes custom leather clothing and accessories for all sorts of rockstars and celebrities, and I just feel like these jeans have seen some things while on her body. I love that thought.

Shacket - I usually wear this piece unbuttoned as a light jacket, but sometimes I’ll wear it like a long shirt, seen here. It is super slouchy with drop shoulders, and there is a really unique high cut angle to the sides which makes it a bit more feminine, and not as boxy.

Bag - black leather Coach bag I have had for years. I have used and abused this bag and I think that’s how it should be. I am not precious about things. If things are made well they will hold up to use, and this bag has done that time and time again. I accidentally got a little paint on it one time from a staging job I was working on, and I feel like that fits me so well. If you know anything about me, I will inevitably get house paint on almost everything (on accident).

Shoes - Second hand Sarto mules made from the softest black leather. I am not usually a kitten heel fan. I either wear flats, medium healed boots, or sky high stilettos. (I kind of gag at the thought of a kitten heel, and I don’t know why). But I was drawn to these low heeled mules. Maybe because of the pointed toe and asymmetrical detail at the top. Maybe because the heel itself has a unique shape and isn’t just a block. I don’t know, but either way I am really enjoying having them in my wardrobe. They dress up or dress down really well, so they are super versatile for me. I need to break them in though, because the person I bought them from only wore them once or twice and my pinky toes were getting a little sore last night walking to and from dinner.

Jewelry - The necklace is a silver compass shaped piece my boyfriend bought me for our third anniversary. We are not big on gift giving, especially not jewelry, so this was a complete surprise. A very sweet, pleasant surprise. The watch, if you can even see it in these images, is an old Juicy Couture watch that my parents got me for my 19th birthday. It may be a bit flashy with the crystal stones around the face, but I still love it. It makes me think of my parents, and I smile every time I wear it. The gold “B” ring, and the dainty gold ring are also both from my parents. The “B” ring they bought me on a trip to Italy, in Florence. The other one has a garnet (my birthstone) which they gave me this year on my 35th birthday. It is so dainty and perfect.

Moral of the story is wear what you love. That may change over time and that’s ok. Eventually, with honesty and patience you’ll curate a wardrobe full of pieces that are undeniably you. I’m 35 and I feel like this didn’t click for me until my 30s. So many things get better with age, trust me!